Sunday, November 20, 2016


What I'm doing between questions: Death Dates list.

  • I can't imagine who will be in the library today: it's lovely outside, there is plenty of [local] sportsball on TV, and the kids don't have school tomorrow; I expect crazies and people without a life, i.e. our usual crew
  • Newspapers are out, printers have paper: we're GO
  • [phone message] Courageous Faith [I'll have to order it--no one around here has purchased it yet]
  • A book about the Holocaust, with pictures [he later tells me it's to show friends who've never heard of it...omg...but good for him!]
  • Headphones [one pair that maybe works, or he can $$, so we'll try the maybes]
  • Thumb drive not showing up on public computer [of course it does when I'm standing behine her--computers, making us feel dumb since 1980]
  • Leftover reserve from yesterday for The Muse [our copy on hold, so it goes on reserve]
  • Guest pass for internet
  • How to copy stuff from a file into email, and vice versa
  • Scavenger Hunt results [I can't find the answer sheet, but thankfully I know all the answers this week!]
  • "I can never find this book on the shelf..." [he was looking where it should be not where it actually is, but we've got it
  • Can't log in [card expired--easy fix]
  • Add $$ to printing account, paid for with credit card at circ
  • [family member is being a dick on chat because I told him he might not want to watch his "home team" play today because they're being more chat for me for a bit] he did eventually apologize for being unfair
  • Our Constant Job Seeker is here, sighing as usual, and learning something new. I'm sure at some point today he will come over and tell me all about how stupid/brilliant whatever-it-is length...after he cracks his neck a dozen times and stretches his back (arms in the air &; wave 'em around like you jus' don' care)
  • Are we open tomorrow? [no one told me we aren' says he'll see ME then for sure]
  • Email-to/from-file copier stops back with our pencil--asks why we would be closed tomorrow and then says, "I'm too old to care about Columbus Day anymore!" [heh]
  • [phone] The Gipsy in the Parlour [found it but wow, could you be more obnoxious about spelling?? I have to ILL it; it's 60+ years old]
  • Chat with circ ppl about a frozen print job on her computer...can't figure it out
  • "Why won't this save on my flash drive?" [after a few minutes of "huh, hmm" I realize she's put a / in the file name; delete that and it's all good]
  • [phone] The Last American Man [on the shelf, so I pull it and place it on hold]
  • [speaking of which: radio silence on chat after I came back and asked a question about dinner....wevs dickhead]
  • As expected, Constant Job Seeker is here venting on the job he has....sigh sigh sigh [eventually walk away]
  • Fix registration for library programs [all set, didn't need fixing....?]
  • CJS is back
  • Guest pass [she has a fine, but she needs a job...I'm such a sucker]
  • [Find a pile of requests at the circ desk while wandering through--find one on the shelf, reserve two others, and leave the others for Someone Else to do through ILL; oh and I leave one with a tech to search her piles of DVDs since our copy is supposed to be here and maybe it's gone to Repairland]
  • CJS...omg, I'm gonna punch him!
  • Extend time [will do, but the computers shut down in 20 minutes...]
  • Local paper
  • CJS . Srsly
  • Walk through to see what kind of crowd is scattered around...just about time to do the We're Closing Soon announcement
  • [phone] Is Columbus Day a federal and state holiday? [yup and everything's closed. Except us]
  • Guest pass [nope, not doing it since you'll log in with just barely time to use it] [The whole family is dingbatty]
  • And then the other daughter makes a [loud] phone call for help on the webpage she's using ...
  • Headphones come back! Unbelievable!!
  • "So you're going to close at 4 on Sundays now?" [we always have, yup]
  • Last-minute patron wants Rushing Waters on hold [done]
  • And we're done.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016


What I'm doing between questions: praying that it stays very quiet and no one asks anything complicated tonight: we're short (again) and my eyes are having a very bad time with focusing on things like spine labels and computer screens. Otherwise, switching over to the Updated Subject List since I'm all caught up with Death Dates; well, with checking them in the catalog.

  • Fermentation (for a college lab report) [why she is not at a college library I don't know]
  • I make an announcement about a car in the lot that was apparently parked by a drunken, a very nice older gentleman [once we know it's his car, I just tell him he's gotta not park on the sidewalk in the future, please]
  • Our paranoid letter-writer has been here, literally, all day doing something online [she called last night to make sure it was ok if she used the computer all day to type her genealogy into some governmental site--whatever that means] 
  • And our Weds night group home folks arrive: Wild Wild West (as in books on), Halloween, fire engines, Zoom! [I have to ILL the last one]
  • It's hotter than heck--on goes the fan that is always here now
  • Oooh, Ms. Paranoia is gone! yay
  • Soundtrack from "Ice Castles" (hello, my early teenage years!!!) [another ILL to do]
  • How many magazines can be checked out at once? [no limit]
  • Librarian KT is walking around like the ground is made of eggshells [sciatica flare up]; she can't walk, I can't see, together we make one semi-functional librarian
  • "How do I log out of Yahoo mail now?"[I show him] then welding books, then National Geographics
  • Call about Free: Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff request [audible download only; no book, no CD--but now I know that she watches Bill Maher, as do I]
  • Eraser ... oh, and pen?
  • Tech calls to let me know that Ms. Paranoia has left the director another note. Sealed inside an envelope so we will have to wait till tomorrow to find out what's buzzing around her brain today...sigh
  • "I got a call that the things I requested are here" [thump on the desk goes her giant bag purse--I explain that they are up front, after I ascertain that these "things" are books/DVDs/etc. not something extremely weird we might actually have here at Reference; she looks moderately put out and not sure she should trust me]
  • Different tech comes past on an errand and asks if we can tell from a cancelled hold where something came from [I check my record of cancellations...apparently not, which is weird]
  • Go on my mid-shift wander to make sure no one is naked or dead anywhere in the building, and pick up 3 more reserves from circ, all for DVDs
  • People using study room sign out
  • "Where are the restrooms?" [point and explain]
  • An hour till closing announcement
  • "Can I use a study room?" [sure, why not?]
  • Refill all the paper in printers/copiers/etc.
  • It's dead in here, just a matter of the computers shutting down and herding the stragglers to the door...
  • Dude in the study room is NOT leaving....grrr...ah now he is
We are finally getting shook of Librarian J a.k.a. Crazy Cat Lady. This is her last week of work. So of course she took today off. Weird that she hasn't had to call in sick once she she scheduled the rest of her time off so carefully. Anyway, that's why I'm going to be on the desk more often for the foreseeable future, especially on Weds. nights when she normally held things down here. So it's a trade-off, but overall, no one's exactly sad to see her leave.

Friday, October 07, 2016


What I'm doing between questions: checking the Death Dates lists--from August and September this year!--against our catalog.

  • Blowers are off today so it's deathly quiet out here today; every keystroke can be heard
  • "Does the printer print in color?" from someone with blue lipstick and a lip-ring [yes, if you tell it to, and she's quite nice]
  • I am old: what's this thing with baseball caps that look like they just landed on guys' heads, rather than guys wearing them? It looks ridiculous (also, wearing Miami Dolphins colors--teal and tangerine--is an interesting tribute to people in Florida dealing with Hurricane Matthew)
  • Boss stops by; we may not get the blower fixed till Monday. Yay--I work Sunday. It's like breathing tropical air in here already
  • Guest pass, but suggest he get a library card
  • Help making a photocopy
  • [Operatic Farter is leaving, fartless today]
  • Four leftover ILLs completed. Seriously, why weren't they done by the person who started them??
  • Black Hole Blues [put on hold for him]
  • "Did that last guy have an accent?" as he returns his Ethernet cable...[no...? I don't think so? and here's your card back]
  • How to pay to print
  • [finally starting the Death Dates list...]

  • dead for 20 minutes
  • [phone] Librarian K asking for the first two Hobbit movies [on his way back from his honeymoon--needs something to do tonight with the kids; I pull them and leave them in his inbox]
  • More paper in printer--woman just printed about 50 pages
  • Help with printing, and then with printing blown-up print job on copier
  • Boss walks through--maybe we'll have blowers before we close
  • Guest pass for internet
  • Staff member's family is visiting, adorable little redheaded granddaughter included
  • Blower tries to start several times...nope
  • And...yes, it's on!! Sounds a bit off, but blowing air!
  • Latest guest pass person asks for a wipe--the keyboard is greasy [ew]; we have Clorox wipes and she takes one\
  • ...and help her print
  • Killing Kennedy [on the shelf--I grin maniacally as she tells me how GOOOOOOD this series is!! Finding the book for her "made [her] day." OK, so not my thing, but it's always fun to have seriously happy patrons]
  • Help with faxing [dude is 5 years younger than me and looks like he's about to keel over]

Wednesday, October 05, 2016


What I'm doing between questions: mostly just chatting to people and keeping this up to date. It was a little busy!

  • It's busy today--kids are out for conferences and the homeless are appearing...or something. Anyway, a LOT of faces, several of them new. And the usual people as well. Including:
  • The Operatic Farter: long, loud, musical, and occasionally stinky
  • The FOL Guy: super-nice, was in the paper last month for getting arrested for disturbing the peace & vandalism
  • Pirates of the Caribbean: NEW! tall skinny and hairy proto-hipsters x 3. Possibly meth-heads. Homeless?
  • Ponytail Gamer: used to be an aide with the SPED kids, now spends hours every day here playing a really weird game online.
  • Return of Big City Paper That Gets Stolen if we leave it out
  • Study room sign-in
  • More time for a guest user whose time just blew up [I give her a new day-pass and extend her time immediately]
  • Longish chat with FOL Guy
  • How to print from a laptop
  • Hello to/from family that usually comes in half an hour prior to closing
  • Proto-Hipsters decide to leave, so they turn their iTunes to max volume for the walk to the front of the building [and I "no no no" them, and then realize the "Pirates.." moniker is for the shitastic eyeline one of them is sporting; the loud one says, "Sorry, I didn't realize..." dumbass]
  • Commercial motor vehicle operator instruction series which is not anywhere in this state. After some back-and-forth, she decides one disc is fine to examine to see if she wants to buy the set for $600 on Amazon [and then I hear some random story about a doll? or something she bought from American Dollar Store that actually came from Amazon...blah blah blah]
  • Sign in for study room
  • Discover that there are old reserves sitting here--finish those up, including an ILL for Like Finding My Twin [I might snag this when the patron's done for a quick perusal]
  • Laptop printing person successfully prints off a zillion pages [ I 💚 PrinterOn]
  • ILL tech needs a port, so I volunteer the one I'm just finishing up with and log out
  • The population is currently half what it was an hour ago....I'm that scary?
  • Help with Excel I get the grade too?
  • Study room sign-out
  • Librarian C needs a port ... and then 2-year-old patron and mom need to meet our puzzle horse
  • ...and a lengthy gossip section ensues because Librarians M and KT appear with questions for us
  • KT wants the teen series called "Prey" separated from the adult series called "Prey" in the catalog (duh, yes, I should know better)
  • Help with Excel [I know NOTHING about charts and tables!] and she sort of thinks she's got it figured out anyway
  • Guest pass and help with printing
  • ....and DONE!!

Thursday, June 23, 2016


What I'm doing between questions: not cataloging any of the (no exaggeration) 1000+ items in my backlog, and looking at subject heading changes from March through May. Librarian J is on vacation this week--after calling in sick Tues-Fri last week--and Librarian B is sick today, so I'm filling in as usual. And there's really not a lot of "in between" time.

  • Report back about Sunday hours at a nearby local library [and they have study rooms there too, which is what he's mostly concerned about
  • [Big-City] newspaper comes back so I can keep it safely behind the desk
  • [phone] Three paperback mystery books we don't own--we'll buy the two published this year and hope the other one is available to ILL
  • Help with scan-print station
  • Books to help get ramped up for taking nursing classes [and by gosh we have a lot!]
  • Nonresident registration to use internet
  • "Why won't my card let me log on the net?" [expired, easy fix]
  • That takes us to 12:25
  • "Where do I print?" [she's an oldie who knows where the printer used to be, but not how to use the 15-month-old system, lol]
  • ILL is done and entered
  • Sunday hours dude needs a study room, so I go evict the person here the longest
  • Another guy comes in for a study room, so I empty the middle one since the tutor using it has disappeared from sight
  • I go to check that I'm not going to get kneecapped for doing that; by the time I get back her stuff is gone--hope it was she who took it!
  • Help printing from wi-fi
  • Help with creating a tear-off public sign
  • Same guy needs to print something else from wi-fi
  • Cuh-RAAzy person arrives and talks to my relief person, Librarian K [I get to the workroom and summon K. for a "question/conference" back here]

2:00 [children's dept.]
  • HOLY CRAP -- Summer Reading Program checkins galore!
  • Nonna here with here grandchildren whose cards are so expired they aren't even in the system anymore; no she can't sign for them--has to be a parent--no she can't take the apps home and bring them back signed...poor kids, Nonna has also had a pop or two today :'(
  • Mayhem in the playing area, by the way; and loud giggling 9-year-old boys playing Minecraft on the computers
  • I know I keep saying this, but holy's never-ending in here! Bathroom keys, 1000 Books stuff, SRP stuff, Nonna From Hell....
  • Gigglers leave. Thank God. Refreshingly quieter, despite the squealers in the play area
  • Just realized I never ate lunch....

  • Ran to a nearby gas station and picked up a small bag of popcorn and an oatmeal cookie for lunch, at 3 p.m.; yay eating like an adult!!
  • Library MR: "Please read this and tell me if I missed something or it's not clear" [because we suspect the director should not be allowed to work the SRP desk if he can't follow directions--multiple complaints]
  • YA guest internet pass
  • Multiple kids (tweens) out here playing Minecraft--I can see six eight screens from where I'm sitting. And three of them are in front of boys with snacks so I get to go be the mean librarian....
  • "YA reading checkins are upstairs today.." [I love this girl though--she's from Uganda and smart as a whip academically and socially]
  • Earbuds purchase
  • ...and the snacking continues so I go remind them that I literally can't help but see them whenever I look up because of the way the desk is situated in relation to their computers; last warning before ejection
  • Of course, the smart girl (above) is wandering around with a lollipop in her mouth...ugh
  • Change internet password
  • "I reserved a study room"--well, there's (luckily) one free, but we don't do reservations..."The woman who is on vacation this week said she's write me in The Book" [we don't have A Book, not for anything like that]--email to staff asking WTF?!
  • Smart girl and her two cousins can't seem to get online; we change passwords, I look up the cousins' card #s and eventually they're all settled online
  • When I look up, six fewer Minecrafters, including the snackers -- hurrah
  • Cousins' dad (uncle?) needs to use the stapler 
  • "Can I copy these somewhere?"--very nice lady, and yes
  • Travel stuff for [town near where I went to college]--I show her the area we keep brochures on the metropolitan area it's in
  • [phone] Tech/Circ person calls in response to WTF email that four or five people got an email from Librarian J on Saturday about this because they were on the schedule for 4-6 today so that's all who would probably need to know [which is ludicrous since the schedule changes minute-by-minute around here!! why not throw caution to the wind and send the email to {{gasp!!}} everyone?!]

  • Somewhat nutty patron wanders by and stops to say "Hi, Girl!!" She's a riot--though she doesn't always make sense and she can seem rather combative
  • "How do I get online?"
  • How to get the microfilm back on the original roll once you've looked at all of it
  • "What time is it?" for study room sign-in
  • How to print (for the new online person), and then how to get home [she's using the map from the local phone book, so I Google Map her a bigger map so she doesn't go blind walking]
  • ...for some reason that reminds me that it's garbage night, so I have to get all the stuff to the curb when I get home....maybe I won't stay late at work after all....
  • Interview lady is done
  • "Can old magazines be checked out? [Yes] Eyes light up: "is there a limit to how many??" [not, he's excited!]
  • Stapler returned, with pencil as interest
  • Tech: "I need candy--where's the adult prizes!?" [so I have a piece with her]
  • Can't log in--card is expired
  • Help scan-print
  • Card expired, and he doesn't have it anyway--back to circ for a new one
  • Tech (different one) asking about room thingy