9 a.m. - noon

CRANKY DAY--look out!

* We need more "Where Can I Find...?" flyers; I print and fold
* Patron makes suggestive comment to circ staff (hmm, used to like him too....)
* [phone] She doesn't need Job PC after all
* I find errors in the "Where Can I Find...? flyer--time for a revision
* Stapler
* [I hate copiers!] Multiple jams that take over 15 minutes to clear
* More jams in copier; nevermind, will do it somewhere else!
* 2002 tax form; IRS site is piled up and we can't get form to download. He'll try at 3 a.m., or call to have it sent
* "This Internet station doesn't like anyone this morning." I restart it
* AARP tax help is downstairs
* Tax forms are over there, by the BIG SIGN THAT SAYS TAX FORMS
* No Social Skills is back: aha--I've figured it out! ALL he says is "Hello. How're you." [note lack of ? mark] But he is dressing better now
* Circ person checks with me to be sure the magazine someone is trying to check out isn't the current one [why can't we just barcode them when they arrive??]
* Patron R has snuck in at some point :-)
* I hear the telltale sound of someone rebooting (the monitors thrum when you do it wrong) but can't see who it is
* [I don't think McD's put enough caffeine in my Pepsi this morning]
* Patron can't log back on after his Internet froze up; I think I found the PC-Shutter-Offer. I free up his record....he doesn't LOOK like a Bethany. So he gets a lecture too
* Patron thinks Christopher Moore's Lamb may not be appropriate for middle school kids (where we have it shelved), although she loved the book [so did I]; send book to YA librarian for examination
* Librarian JK asks if I will be at work on April 2
* Temp Internet signup
* Computer blew up again on same guy; I think SAM knows he's using his wife's card!
* Lamb Woman can't access her file: "I think I have a virus." [She does this all the time; usually it's "I think YOU have a virus." She just doesn't save to her floppy. She has managed to erase her whole disk on another occasion, to the point of needing to reformat it. Today her file comes up in ?Korean. "The guy who was using this before me was Oriental." It was Patron R: not Asian! At all. YOU are just a putz.] sigh sigh sigh
* VERY bent-over man needs AARP tax help
* New patron
[shoot, I walk away for 3 minutes and the director appears and starts banging around this PC to show another patron the Ofotos]
* Discussion with director re yesterday's OCLC pricing meeting, IOUG meeting in May, why I haven't opened the Ref Desk email, etc., etc.
* Ina Garten books [we have one on the shelf; that's enough for her]
* Same patron: Renovation of the heart [will have to ILL]
* National Wildlife April/May issue [not on shelf, but not checked out]
* Same patron: Spy; we own it but she needs author's name so she can find it. I get it from the 327s for her...not a lot of lights on in her brain. But she's very nice. Too bad Korean Document Lady (a.k.a. Lamb Woman) decides she needs to be involved in this patron's quest for a book...
* Patron with nasty cough [ick--go away!]
* Weird print-job guy from yesterday is back; the pictures look normal today [whatever]
* Same patron wants to find local comm. college's classes in HVAC; can't find 'em online, tell him to call them and ask [poor guy--I keep failing to help him]
* "Where did my print jobs go?" She's going to try again because she didn't do it right. Of course
* Voila: print jobs. She waited for all the "are you sure?" boxes this time
* Long soliloquy about Amtrak ("Trips I Have Taken") and a thank you for access to Internet. Daughters live in DC and Rochester, MN. What else would you like to know about him; betcha I can tell you
[where should I eat lunch: Mardi Gras or Swiss Maid or Taco Bell?]
* Malignant Self-Love [we don't own; will buy] and books on narcissism

Meanwhile, I went through donations, and tried to copy "New in May" lists. Grr.

11 a.m. - noon

None of the clocks in the building say the same time!

* Basement remodeling
* [stuff is still on Explorer that shouldn't be!]
* New card number; SAM needs to be updated with his info
* [the squeaky copier is gonna drive me nuts!]
* wrong kind of basement books, but she's late picking up her kids; back tomorrow with husband to watch kids
* Director runs past with tour, and leaves envelope for Librarian J at Ref Desk (?)
* No Social Skills says hi again. I'm getting nervous...
* [phone] School district budget
* Techie J arrives with laptop to "collect information" [?]; his wireless connection blows up and he goes somewhere else to reconnect
* Internet printing LSD-style pictures again [like wow man]; I tell patron to try a different terminal. Wish we could figure out why this happens
* Weird print guy can't log in to other terminal [well, duh, you have to log out of the other one first...sigh]
* Haven't seen for awhile: Word signup and typing books
* More LSD pictures; I give up and ask if he can come back tomorrow and try
* [phone] Proctored test
* Southern Living from March [checked out]

Meanwhile, I compiled the New Books in May lists.

1 - 2 p.m.

* Where is Davis Rd.?
* AARP tax help is downstairs
* New baby pix @ Ofoto from New-Mom Librarian
* Copier not working; with help from Copier Guru on staff, we fix it
* Out of paper at Word proc.
* Chelation therapy [we have nothing; nothing much on Amazon less than 3 years old]
* History and text of the Nicene Creed [thank you Dan Brown!]
* Patron wants to know what the rumored new arrangement of libraries will mean for us? (the corsortia is multiplying and splitting and reconfiguring; very confusing)
* Phone book for city of R.
* Temp internet signup
* How to get rid of nesting-in-garage raccoon [university extension office]
* Thesaurus [cutie!]

Meanwhile, worked on Excel chart of moved Dewey numbers; 370-

11 a.m. - 12 noon

* Glorious Appearing arrives as a reserve from another library (Street date is 3/30) and alert circ person dumps it on me to "do something about" [???]
* Patron R is back
* Iggery? Oops; eggery=egg decorating
* "B.C.E." definition (found here; very cogent site)
* [email] registration for kid program over Spring Break
* Short turorial on how to use catalog; they're looking for Lucinda Bassett stuff, specifically, the tapes the patron donated last month
* Her internet screen "went fuzzy" and now she can't log back in
* The Street Date debate continues in email...
* Ooghpf...icky morning patron E is here 3 hours late!
* Print job payment: $1.40. All he has is a $20. All I have is about $2.50 in change
* Local phone book
* Staff member searching for book with wrong spine label. There's irony for ya
* Mr. Ick needs Tim Allen books

Meanwhile...hah! There was no meanwhile.

9 a.m.- noon

The daytime homeless site for today has opened.

* 3 of our "regular" homeless population wander in and plop for the day at "their" table
* Stuff is appearing on Explorer that we never put there. I delete all the extra "favorites" we now have, and close the additional search bar. Some stuff still there that shouldn't be. Need to call Tech Svc for help
* How to spell "shillelagh" [hmmm, wonder why]
* Rehash of yesterday's computer chaos from Librarian JK [go away]
* {where's my Dr. Pepper?!!}
* Director arrives to see the weird stuff. She instructs me to call Tech Support J. I page him
* PTO prez assures us that the public PCs look fine
* TSJ calls back, and I explain. The cell phone disconnects us
* {big slug of DP while I wait for TSJ's call back}
* We will monitor the rest of the day; TSJ is working off-site today. Any more problems, we'll call. Hopefully this is not a worm that the IRA has set to go off today. sigh
* Can I use Internet? I check his card; change his expiration date and he's all set
* CL Computer User Card--"I forgot my password." [I just registered this guy here last week, for Pete's sake]
* Books on lotteries "like this one" (he wants a strategy book for picking); we have none. No one has any. Probably stolen. By other people thinking they can beat the system. hah
* Annoying mom with ratty kids from last week is back. She's here every week trying to do genealogy with a 2-year-old in tow (today she brought an older sibling[?] to help; why isn't this kid in school?)
* Lottery Guy is back, with the receipt for the book in his hand (purchased in 1984). So? I reiterate that we don't have anything; the receipt doesn't change things. He can buy stuff on Amazon or at Borders, but we don't have anything on the shelf today. I think I'm a little gruff with him....
* Do we run Windows XP on any public computers? [no]
* Tax form book for 2003. My brain falls out--that's last year's books, or the ones for this year...? [duh]
* Copier is over there
* Thank you from tax-form patron
* I file 'on-order' cards with holds attached
* Renewed Guy shows his print jobs to me; "only 4." I check his card anyway, cynic that I am.
* Lottery Guy can't figure out copier. Needs to have copies of his Soc. Sec. card/DL/immigration card; front and back. "How much?" [20 cents]
* Very Pregnant Woman needs a restroom.
* More weird stuff pops up on this PC. I try not to panic, pretty successfully
* Word proc.
* Pay phone
* Email reserves for me to do
* Phone number look-up
* PG Librarian isn't PG anymore; it's a girl! {She is now to be known as New-Mom Librarian}
* AARP tax prep people are downstairs. Over there.
* She needs to print off something she downloaded from the Internet into a WordPad file.
* Holy Hormones by Ron Eaker
* Word proc.
* Favorite patron R comes in, finally: I've been saving something one of his nephews left behind a week ago--a PowerPoint about R that is a real tribute to him. R is surprised and really touched.
* Did we get the county daily paper today? Uhm, yeah, I think it was in the pile I put in the reading room 2 hours ago. Not there now....
* Printer payment (an honest word proc user!!)
* Director asks if we should have Librarian A do Word tutoring classes instead of one-on-one; have I ever listened in? Is N good at the one-on-ones? [no clue, but N is very patient with everyone in general] She's going to ask N. [ok then]
* Patron R needs word proc.; asks about PG Librarian's baby--says he will stop by the hospital to see her today
* Thank you from other word proc user as she leaves
* Blank floppy? [yep]
* Is Librarian A here? [not yet--half an hour]
* Now Librarian A is in the building. As is Librarian J (my relief!)
* Patron who normally has 0 social skills says "hi how are you" to me. Gasp
* Circ person & I negotiate Street Date issue. I think it's resolved

Meanwhile, I worked through DDC22 again. 468-571 done.
We have a lot of weird language books! And our Science section is pretty anemic.

J Desk 1-2 p.m.

* I volunteer the JRef. garbage can for patron looking madly for one for her trash.
* Cute-But-Loud toddler tries to use games computer. No parent in sight. SHH!
* Chat with tutor who uses the library regularly
* Learning-to-Walk-Boy enchanted by paper shamrocks hanging around JRef. desk.
* "Don't bang on the keyboard!" (Cute-But-Loud kid)
* Headphones for games computer
* Storytime lets out; 4-year-olds and parents everywhere!!
* A-HA. There's Cute-But-Loud's Mom; on the Internet, where else?
* "Don't stand on the chair!" (different child, same family--turns out there are 4 of them, all under age 5)
* "Don't eat over the keyboard." (different kid, just released from storytime with shamrock cookie in hand)
* "You can't play on the computer unless you're using headphones." (all the kids in Cute-But-Loud Family) [This is a New Rule minted by me especially for this family.]
* Headphones for Cookie Boy, who is really quite polite (the cookie is eaten)
* Cute-But-Loud Mom asks Librarian JK when the next storytime is; I want to say, "For you, NEVER!!"
* Librarian K brings me a knob one of the kids found during storytime. We'll figure out what it's for the next time something breaks. Or it will sit in the desk drawer until 2009.
* Return headphones

Meanwhile, I continued with my attempt to figure out the collection of telecourse videos. I'm beginning to loathe them.

11 a.m.-12 noon

As I survey the wondrous cross-section of our community...

* Pencil & paper
* Address to send in federal tax form
* Temp Internet signup
* Pencil. With lead (picky, picky)
* [phone] Family member called with good news
* Thanks for earlier pencil
* Return of desk copy of Consumer Reports issues, along with borrowed pencil
* Temp Internet signup
* She just renewed card. Wants to reserve book we wouldn't let her reserve till she renewed
* Causes of dizziness, poor man
* [phone] Another library is sending a patron over to pick up a CD. Thank goodness they called; it is nowhere to be found.
* Staff member trots along next to me to tell me that we can work on ILL at noon. My question is, "Can I eat lunch while we do this??"
* Other library's patron actually just needs "C is for Cookie." Success; I have found it on video.
* Gas forced-air furnace repair. Patron says, "Thanks, love" either to me or to his wife.
* Our Tech Svc person tries to explain why a patron couldn't access a website last week. Turns out all gambling sites are blocked. Luckily, the director is here and immediately recognizes that we need to either 1) change that in the Internet software, or 2) put that into our signup form.

[The director is also next at the desk. I finally leave at 12:10 ...]

Meanwhile, I attempted to figure out the collection of telecourse videos: what we have, what we should have, what we don't have. As well as which are cataloged and which aren't.

9-noon

* PTO prez again
* Jobs PC
* [phone] Do we have the Dr. Phil diet book? (Yes, there are 10 holds; shall I add you to the list?) No that's to long to wait. But do you have anything on chair exercises? (Yes, shall I hold it?) Yes please, and can you tell me how much Dr. Phil's book costs? ($26.) Oh, then please put me on the waiting list after all. [grrrrr]
* [phone] Family member called to harrass me again ;-)
* [phone] Word proc signup for this afternoon
* Director brings down two huge notebooks on two new subdivisions. We have no place to put them. We move the cris-cross book and shove the tax books around. Voila.
* [phone from Circ] What does the date after the author's name mean? Is that the year of publication for the book? [sadly, this is one of our tech svc people asking... I don't kill her, or sound too incredulous] [I hope]
* Reserve on Mitch Albom's new book
* Change email address for online overdue notification
* Old baseball player data
* Very frowny woman wants to print her Word document
* Word proc
* Card catalog? (He's sitting at it--but using the genealogy program)
* Do we have card scanners for public Internet logon? (No) Director said we did. (Nope, not yet)
* (same guy) Is the Jobs PC the only one that has CD-burning capability. (I think so, but you're welcome to try the word processing ones)
* The word procs DO burn CDs but they don't access the Internet. (Yep, you got it) [good thing this guy is nice!]
* Temporary Internet user signup
* Is the mail here yet? Wants to see local paper. (no, sorry--one of our nice older regulars)
* Zip code for town of C.
* How to go back one screen on the FAFSA. (Can't figure it out) [Also can't remember new password to extend her time...]
* Where to find these books on scraps of paper. [All on witchcraft, but one is Agatha Raisin and the Witch of Wyckhadden....not what they want, I'm sure; do I tell them? No, because they need the exercise and to learn how to read the card catalog properly...and because I'm mean.]
* Temp Internet signup
* Coin collecting and "no, don't get up, I'll find it, you just stay put" [nice baseball man from earlier]
* Pay for print jobs
* Word proc
* Printer messup--move to next PC
* How to send an email using Yahoo!
* Tax forms
* Nice woman turns in someone's library card; patron apparently left it at the Internet station he was using. I put it in the Lost Card box
* Next Internet user "forgot" card; when I look it up for her, it was found last week and put in our Lost Card box. Weird how this happens...
* Why isn't the printer printing my driving directions? (SAM is too complicated for some people.) [We figure it out and then he tells me he's moving to PA. Nice older man; I'll miss him.]
* Pay for print jobs
* Do I reserve the study rooms? (nope, just go right in)
* State tax forms for a very confused older woman [who, scarily, says she won't need more than one copy because she "won't be here next year" and then says "the hell with 'em" re the Dept. of Revenue]
* Pay for print jobs
* I spot Librarian J, which means I am soon going off desk and, more importantly, to lunch. [growl growl says my stomach]

Meanwhile, I continued plodding through DDC22 looking for "wrong" numbers. I have finished the 300s at last!

3-4 p.m.

* Do I remember what links we used to have on the Jobs computer?" (from our techie) Nope.
* [phone] Call for Librarian A to schedule next test to be proctored.
* Young girl I used to know is here, looking very grownup. We chat.
* Internet signup
* Internet signup
* Pay for prints
* Reserves
* Pay for prints
* Word proc
* Temp internet user signup
* Paper
* How do I log on? I forgot--it's been awhile.
* Need an easy bio of Jefferson for an assignment to write his obituary.
* Can't remember password (same guy as before).
* Print job disappeared. Retry (we won't charge her).
* Librarian K wants to know how to photocopy onto transparency film. Librarian T knows how (I certainly don't!).

TIME TO GO!
Meanwhile, I put barcodes on new materials, one nearly-full side of a shelving cart.

11 a.m. - noon

* Word proc
* Internet signup
* Word proc
* [phone] Family member called to harrass me
* Password for Gates PC
* SAM told patron to pay but she only printed 3 pages. Hmmm. I cleared her record.
* "What do women do when they're in a bad mood?" I dunno. "They go to the hairdresser. My wife always feels better after she gets her hair done. I go to the library when I'm in a bad mood." Ooooo-kayyyy. (luckily, he's a really nice older man, one of our "regulars," otherwise I think I'd be scared)
* Excel
* How to format a floppy

Pretty slow day. Thank God!

9-noon

-Chicago Fire
-Need copies of "where can I find" flyer; run 20 and fold
-Our Favorite Morning Person (Mr. Ick): "Don't worry, I won't listen to it" while holding up a small boombox
-Sign for Shakespeare section, only 3 months after requested...
-[phone]: Five People You Meet...(Albom). Reserved it for her
-Temporary net user forgot his number. I look it up. Cuz I'm nice.
-Pen
-Paper times 2
-Pencil
-Internet signup from town of H. library
-PTO prez here--saving me a phone call later
-First temp guy asks if he has to check in with us every time. Nope, not till he expires in Sept.
-Today's papers: nice patron put them where they belong and is stopping to tell me. Which reminds me to go pick up yesterdays' and put them together for shelving
-Word proc signup
-Internet signup for homeless guy with user card from library C
-Internet signup for teenager. Also wants to know about legal emancipation. Word proc guy tells her she's old enough to get a card. WHAT?
-Word proc printer not working right (same guy); I tell him to use the next one while I futz with the printer cartridge
-"Do I need a password?" Word Proc Guy... [Yes. Sigh]
-Printjob payment
-Tax help is downstairs
-Has Preg. Librarian had baby? [no]
-Printjob payment
-Yahoo! "free" credit check asking for credit card # (homeless guy=no credit cards). Probably not really free then...
-Need more scratch paper out here [chop chop chop...voila]
-Tax help is downstairs
-Reset timer on Internet for patron. I can't remember password. Get flustered. Eventually figure it out. Luckily she didn't run out of time
-Job PC signup
-Temp. user signup
-Tax help is downstairs
-Printjob payment
-[phone]: Thresholds, by Bill Harris (0972178007) [we don't own--ILL]
-How to access AOL and send link to page he found
-Job PC signup
-Printjob payment and stapler use
-Travel vid/DVD for Spain
-Tax help is downstairs
-Word proc guy pays for printjobs. And uses stapler
-Check out up front (she should know this, she's here all the time)
-Where's the bathroom? Can I leave all this here while I go?
-Word proc signup
-Access tutorial (ask overtime user to leave: she's done anyway...)
-[phone] School District phone number for woman in Texas
-ME: "Did you need some help?" No, she's just disappointed; she thought she found a book but it was the wrong author
[someone is walking around on the roof]
...
[the blowers just stopped--jeez, it's quiet in here...except for the thumps on the roof]
...
-Word proc. Overtime girl. Warned that she'd have to give up her spot if we had a run on PCs
[blowers back on, and thumping is louder]
-Check from Garden Club for last books they donated
-New sets of Community College videos are already messed up (duplicates of some, and missing some)
-AARP tax help downstairs (but they don't look AARP-y)

AAH RELIEF!! Lunch-time...