Wednesday (let's hope it's not a repeat of last week!)

What I'm doing between questions: taking bets about when Librarian J will call in sick [she threw her back out yesterday, but worked all day, so it's not unexpected], and the never-ending subject headings...oh, and it's a half day for the kids today, so the afternoon could be strange(r than normal)

9:00 in the children's room

• Charlie & Lola books, who is the author? [Lauren Child]
• Storytime at 9:30 and folks are already showing up
• Bathroom key [oops, I never closed the doors!]
• ...and Librarian J just called in to talk to Schedule Person whom I can overhear from this desk : 9:15 [Librarian B wins the prize!]--mad rearranging of schedule ensues [I loathe this woman right now]
• [phone] Rose needs to renew the posters she checked out (what, no DVDs??] and wants to talk to Librarian C, who is just arriving...
• [phone] VERY SICK woman calls to find out due dates for books [I renew them--she sounds absolutely terrible!]
• My choir director is here for storytime, so I warn her that I may not be there, again, tonight

1:00 12:45

• In the interim, things have worked out so that I can leave when I'm supposed to instead of staying till 9 again
• Markers [no, but I have one green Sharpie--he is way too excited about that]
• Someone left their phone at the computer someone else just sat down at
• And someone else's phone starts beeping [dude doesn't really know how to use it, but it eventually stops bing-bonging--hmm, I think this is a homeless dude, to boot]
• Marker is back
• "This is like the second time I've used a stapler in the past 6 years!!" [again with the weird excitement--different person though]
• "Come to the library to watch porn?" [uhm, really? I start over...oh, not ACTUAL porn...ok] then a long story about a woman's family history which starts out, I presume, as a question and eventually I realize she's just talking [more excitement that I'm not feeling]
• Pay to print x 2
• Guest pass
• Group of four teenage boys I'm watching, but they're quiet and (I think) behaving, just watching YouTube music vids
• Buy flash drive + pay to print
• Pay to print and some help
• Pay to print
• Stapler
• Guest pass, and help him and his friend get online; they will need a load of help 
• Pencil [no, you can't have my good one to use, sorry!]
• Fax
• Look up password
• There are now 6 guys, and a skankily-dressed girl (one of our regulars) hanging out in that group, on two computers -- and they know I'm watching, so two leave the building lol
• [I can't ... stop ... yyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaawninggggggg]
• "50 cents to print?!" [only color--I show her how to change the printer to b&w]
• Now down two more teenagers; only one guy and the girl are left, talking
• Fax
• Still won't print in b&w..."oooh, I have to change it before I print, I get it!"
• Dude, if you're ANYwhere close to my age, you should NOT be using "Call Me Maybe" as your ring tone! And you should also NOT be talking on the phone at the library! Srsly....grrr
• Stapler
• Dear God, one of the needy pair just applied for a job in "loss prevention" at Wal-Mart...help!

2:00

• And the loss prevention guy is "that guy" who is The Best Lipreader in the World [you know, that [his name]] and worked for TSA until he got tired of them not paying him...something about Hillary and Obama shoving cash in their pockets till the Chinese caught them...[go, GO!! Leave with your friend now please!!]
• Bing-bong phone guy needs the local paper and this week's People Magazine [turns out he's already seen the latter--he likes looking at the pictures, which is an unfortunate statement since this week's cover story is all about Kate Middleton's pictures]
• Two books in Spanish, one we have one we don't
• Rude dude thinks his printing is more important than the girl with the books [he even interrupts AGAIN to thank me]
• Circ person comes back to ask if I know who was on computer #24 [yeah, it was the Call Me Maybe guy who left after he hung up] ; apparently someone just complained about what he was looking at; I have no idea what his name is {grr}
• ADHD books
• Pay to print
• Today's classifieds [actually, she needs the TV listings, which she uses right here]
• Skanky girl and guy she left with are back

3:00 in the children's room

• Help with printing in color
• Books on rock music
• Two requests for purchase in my collection development areas are going straight to OCLC--I'm not buying these esoteric items anymore for this woman every time she asks [both are coming from "Bible Colleges"]; a third request goes in the "ILL when available" pile [ditto this patron who only asks for fringe psycho-Christian books]
• "Can I borrow the stapler?" [it's for a poster, so...yeah]
• Local paper is back, at last
• [phone] Two Kellerman and three Gerritsen books [all on the shelf and  now on hold for her]
• "There's no one on this computer but there's a purse and a bunch of stuff on the table...?" [I grab it and put it behind the desk. Still have the phone, too]
• Stapler is back
• New Yorker article and a request for a book
• Ethernet Guy is here for "his" cable
• Purse-owner finally returns (easily 25 minutes later)
• Pen
• Other Ethernet Guy returns a cable
• Stapler
• Algebra for Dummies books (for a 5th grader who "likes doing algebra problems) [dear God!]
• Local classifieds, and he stays to look through the job ads folder
• Classifieds are back
• Help finding the date an article ran in the paper so he can go find the paper and make a copy
• Compatibility View switch from Firefox; bank website doesn't mean porn stupid security popup