HALLLOOOOOWEEEEEENNN

What I'm doing between questions: reworking my evaluation for the midyear review--apparently we all did them wrong, par for the course for the former boss...

11:00 in the children's room

• ...which is blessedly EMPTY after yesterday's mayhem!!
• 11:48: bathroom key
• ...is back

Tuesday

What I'm doing between questions:

1:15 in kids' room, covering for a sickie

• Half day for the school district today (not weather-related) so lots of kids in here this afternoon
• Long discussion about YA lit with a patron, which ends when...
• I go break up a kissy-face session going on across the room (behind the patron, so I'd been watching)
• Bathroom key
• "Have you seen a 10-year-old boy in a blue T-shirt, alone?" [apparently he was outside without a coat looking confused...the dude was concerned about him]
• ...and back
• Scissors and paper
• Two little guys =  my new best friends
• Help finding a new series
• Headphones
• My new best friends are using up all my staples, along with making me laugh....

3:40 covering while we call the cops 

• Someone reported someone else with a gun. The someone else has (natch) already left after threatening the first person
• Technology help, guest pass, spare headphones, contracts, lost phone (nope), and a very full set of internet stations and people with not a lot of functional brain cells...no own time....at least we got a two-fer from the police

6:00 in kids' room

• Spiderwick field guide [we don't own :( ] and no, MOM, I don't WANT to download it to the Kindle, I want a BOOK!! [omg, I'm so happy to hear that, and I tell her that!]
• "We saw a book here awhile ago...not sure of the title..." [I adore keyword searching: "beach playa go" finds it]
• "How many DVDs can we check out?" [uhm 5, I think]
• Vampire stories [we find the scary short stories in 398....and I tell the girls they can take whatever doesn't scare their papa, cuz dads are easily frightened]
• "Can we print on the computers?" [yup, but it costs 10 cents per page--then again, she's currently got mom's purse while mom's carrying the zonked out baby]
• Dude runs into storytime without putting on the one shoe that fell off when he got off the chair
• Very scary guy walks through in a very scary way...why do these people need to walk through this room to get to where they are going?!?
• What is that long written thing after I log in that says "Agree" or "Cancel"? [those would be the rules...which I shorten up to "if you're mom would smack you for doing something on the internet, it's against the rules here too" -- and his face lights up in a big smile. I believe he was worried there'd be a test on the rules, and being ESL was more than a little concerned that he was doomed. Mom, though, those rules he can follow!]
• ...and it won't load his game, something to do with add-ons and flash [I suggest he find another website with games]
• How to get a library card for a 5-year-old
• Captain Underpants [we should probably buy some more copies of those...]
• More add-on problems...I move him to a different computer and reboot the one he was using
• Do we have books for kids online? [yup, really? REALLY?? People still don't know this?]
• 5-year-old is very excited about her library card :D
• Do we have DVDs for kids? Uhm, yeah....
• How many DVDs can I check out [5]
• Do we have to check out before the kids go into adult section? [?? wow, uh, no]

Monday

What I'm doing between questions: series and name-change checking, but not much of it

1:00

• "I remembered my flash drive! Aren't you proud of me?!" [dude, I am proud of everyone who remembers to take their flash drives--and he shows me the note he wrote himself to remember, lol]
• Guest pass for internet [pretty adorable guy, too, sigh]
• Nerdy Pet Mormon walks past, wearing a nice pink tie under his gray sweater...first sign of color
• I call patron re a request she made for "Beautiful Ruins CD" [music or audiobook? Audiobook, for this month's book club--no one owns the CD yet, so...I order it and she eventually agrees to take a book]
• Map of state just north of us [I talk her into copying a page of one of our Delorme Altases for the area she's interested in and she walks away THRILLED]
• Temporary internet pass [she has $10 in fines, so I warn her and then print out a pass so she can print "one thing"]
• Never fails: one complicated (-ish) question and suddenly 6 people need me by phone and in person:

• Books with pictures of "cocoon" clothing from the 1920s [eventually, I do find what she needs, both via Google Images and in a few books]
• [phone]
• Circ person comes back to take this end of the call
• Pay to print
• [phone]
• More time on card
• Head of Circ collecting our money for deposit
• [phone]
• ...other stuff I can't remember...

• No messages on phone after all that ??
• "This map you made isn't right..." [well, I didn't make it, but I print out a new map from his new directions, and hear all about why he needs it...]
• Librarian K here to snag a flash drive for a project
• [phone] Chronicles of N-A-R-N-I-A [he spells it out] movies [I find the first one on the shelf and reserve Prince Caspian for him]
• Rose calls for two movies, which we don't own so I leave 'em for Librarian C to find for her

5:00

• [phone] Opera? er, AUTHOR of Like the willow tree [Lowry...wow, my ears totally don't work] and commiseration about Schools These Days
• Please oh please nothing else from N-A-R-N-I-A dude!!! [whew, he leaves as soon as I get here]
• There is a dude online who has been acting rather weird, according to previous staff out here; I'll keep my eye on him, but I think he's less "drunk or high" and more "generally wacko"
• "Is there a waiting list?" [wow we are full, but no waiting list yet--he just didn't look far enough]
• "OK, wow, so, I haven't ever been in here....do you have movies?" [yep, you walked right past them...lol]
• Weird dude comes to ask if his search history and so forth is deleted once he logs off [yep]; is that new, cuz I used to have to delete it all? [uh, no, not for like 12 years]; ok, he's leaving....but I have to call him back about his plastic bag of stuff in the floor where he was sitting
• International fax, which doesn't work [something is not right with the phone number: country/city codes are probably fine]
• Consumer Reports for washers/dryers
• Weirdness on the computers, and I call for help
• Scratch paper
• More weirdness on the computers--and someone left his college app and backpack at an empty computer (now behind the desk)
• And...we're officially full
• Help with attaching a file to an email [thank God for leftover flashdrives]
• Regular skater-ish-dude wants to know what time we close [9, and oh, don't bother looking, all the internets are full--nevermind, he'll do something else even though we have a way to use the next available....]
• Extend time (for later) for the guy who likes to call the cops for us
• [phone] Dead Poet's Society DVD [our copy is long gone and she's not sure she can wait for it to be brought over here on load for her]

Sat

What I'm doing between questions: LCSH-a-go-go. Looking back through old entries of this blog, wondering if I should create a page for our regulars and staff members...in my spare time. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.....I crack myself up.

10:00 in the kids' room

• Guest passes for internet [and the printer in here doesn't work, so...I send them to the adult desk]
• Bathroom key
• Lightning Thief on CD or DVD [uhm, the audiobook is only on CD...and we have it]
• Bathroom key back
• Check out here? [nope]
• All of the above has been for the same family...I'm their personal librarian today
• Bathroom keys for cleaning
• Pay to print
• How much to print?
• Lost sunglasses
• Help with printing, and payment
• Bathroom key
• VERY pushy woman wants DVDs about Jesus, not animated: "real people" [uhm you do know they didn't have videocameras in 1st century Palestine, right? And I am NOT getting you Passion of the Christ for your 8-year-old grandson; sorry, you have to figure out where that is on your own (unless you ask)]
• Key back [patron asks when we started doing that...uh, yeah, like YEARS ago, at least 3]
• Help with printing (same kid)  -- 3 minutes later, he gets up seemingly having figured it out himself this time. ;-)

11:00

• I'm enjoined by departing Librarian J to "have fun" [ugh]
• Can't log in, password isn't right, so I fix it and she's in
• Werewolf: pay to print and needs help [but not as much, she's getting the hang of it]
• Pencil/Paper
• Circ/Tech person asks me to run a weeding list for her to use for the Collection Development class she's taking
• Paper--and he doesn't want to sit where I (or other passersby) can see him  (i.e., he doesn't take the computer that's right across from me and all the others are in use), so...he's off to the front of the building instead
• Werewolf is working on this "Huns/Magyars genetically related to American Indians" thing. Still. Just printed off 19 pages from Wikipedia that need stapling
• Stapler (bird-in-grill dude)
• Day pass for internet (he forgot his card [I'm not supposed to do this, but ... ]
• Pay to print
• List of nursing textbooks [we don't buy textbooks, so she's SOL here; I suggest the community college library, and then show her that Amazon has rental and used options for less money--and by the way, the three specific ones I looked at totalled less than half of one of my son's chem texts]
• Pay to print and today's classifieds
• How to put an accent mark over a letter in Excel
• How to upload pix from a camera card [I get the Belkin for her]
• Ads are back
• Renew time

12:00

• I have no idea what happened for most of this hour...some phone reserves, some gossiping with staff, some LCSH stuff...lots of internet help

Thursday

What I'm doing between questions: items in processing lists to work on later, and Man Booker Long- and Short-Listed titles (at least we have the winner!). And, this will be a surprise (not), subject headings.

9:00 covering for Librarian K

• Two phone messages return which result in me pulling 4 books from various shelves and putting them on hold shelf
• [phone] Werewolf calls looking for books on Shawnee and Navajo, which I find and put on hold shelf
• Suddenly it's 9:40
• [phone] Register to vote [can't do it here nearer than 4 weeks from election and he hangs up in a bit of a snit before I can give him the number for the county clerk]

10:00 covering for Librarian K

• [phone] Apartment lease to copy, and she doesn't have a computer [our book has been lost/paid--just about 3 months after we bought it: #$&^(@] 
• Help with printing x2 [and some discussion of me having been here a long time, since way back in the 90s...: yes, almost 16 years]
• Great, having just finished my breakfast (10:20), I now have the hiccups
• Mouse not working [hmm, weird, eventually I get it to]
• Computer shut down [loose plug he must've kicked--I plug it in more firmly and re-up his time]
• Day pass for internet
• "Can I print from my laptop?" [...sigh, no, not yet (probably not for at least another year since our tech budget got balled up for this year)]
• Help with read-only PDF [no, I can't make it let you fill it out; they've blocked it, and I don't think we can convert it without an account in Adobe...anyway, it's a series of checkboxes with literally one line that needs writing in, so I offer to do the writing if she'd prefer]
• Pen. For the printed PDF.
• DVDs on U.S. history, 50s and 60s [we don't have much... :( ]
• I discover I've been tracking all the questions this morning in the afternoon slot of the tally sheet so I toss it and start over
• City of God on DVD [on hold lists--no, he doesn't want to add his name]
• One of our regulars walks in, gets himself all set up at an internet station, including emptying his pockets--cell phone, sunglasses, papers, etc.--and walks away with it all sitting there [so trusting...]
• City of God guy comes back past me and makes a phone call in the middle of the quietest part of the library [srsly?]

12:00 in the children's room

• New walker stumbles in, staggers all the way across the room to the play area, stops dead and then makes a good run back to Mom...SO FREAKIN' ADORABLE!!
• Not one single question or interaction the whole hour....

5:00

• Referral to the closest thing I can find at the high school to "shop" classes for a woman who wants to donate a bunch of woodworking (and other "man craft" magazines)....then I email the referrals so they can avoid answering their phones for awhile. ;-)
• Renew time
• Could Librarians J and C talk a little louder in their office? I can't quite make out the actual words to the full-volume laughter/conversation. Jeez.
• Pay to print
• Help finding a book she reserved 6 months ago that we ordered and hasn't arrived; I'm going to ILL it instead
• "How much does it cost? I thought it was 10 cents?" [yeah, she did pick the color printer though; fortunately realized it before she started printing]
• Weird interaction with bird-in-the-grill guy (from yesterday). He's one of our regulars and slightly bizarre but usually in a fun way
• "Can the backpack kits be checked out?" [yup]
• Pay to print (same printing person as before)
• Pink-haired guy is back today....shudder
• [phone] Ishmael (by Quinn) [we don't own and she has the kind of card that only allows access to our books]
• Til Death Season 2 [we don't have ANY seasons...]
• How much to print?  ...and then her card's expired (and she owes almost $11)
• More time online (dude that loves calling 911 on our behalf)
• Check out backpack here? [nope, and they have the keys for the little locks up front anyway]

Hump Day

What I'm doing between questions: s u b j e c t s. YAWN.

9:00

• "Time to make the donuts" says the 4th person walking past [exactly what I was thinking...creepy!]
• A large group of 11-12 year olds just quietly went downstairs....hmmm
• Pay to print
• I decide to clean out the "lost computer paraphrenalia drawer and end up throwing away about a dozen CD/DVD discs and a 6" stack of floppies (after destroying them); I'll keep the 10 thumb drives to reformat and hand out as people  need them; also, all the Out Of Order signs are back in a folder together again, and the 2 calculators, 1 cell phone, and glasses case are in the regular lost & found where they belong.
• Found money in wallet after asking questions about SAM (can't remember what--I was distracted by my project above)

10:00

• Patron comes in furious because someone has a dead bird stuck in the grill of their car
• How to get online [new user, new card]
• Bird dude decides that he will fix our jammed stapler, and by the time I get back with a different one, he has, by golly!
• Where is Notepad? [He can use Word for what he wants Notepad for, and I show him how]
• Headphones? [I give him a pair of earbuds I saw in the paraphrenalia drawer...and now I'm untangling left-behind earbuds....]
• Downloading a photo [need the cable that came with the camera, that there is your phone cable, but we have left-behind cables too...no dice]
• Fax
• Substitute stapler back "home" as I get done at the desk

3:00 in the kids' room

• How to change font color in Word [easy pitch to start the hour]
• Fuh-reeezing in here
• 3:25 and about 30 people (mostly kids of various ages) walk in, in clumps
• Dork Diaries books [there are actually a few on the shelf!] and "can you check out with a school ID?" [only if it has your picture on it...not picture :( ]
• "What time is it?" [3:35]
• One minute of "Why?" "But why?" "WHYYYyyyyy?" [whine whine whine] child with mom, who stands firm and doesn't clock the kid either
• ...so yeah: one hour=3 questions........yawnnnn

Tues

What I'm doing between questions:

1:00 in the children's room

• Storytime is going on when I start, so I expect a mass of humanity to emerge in the next half hour
• Scratch paper
• Actually, pretty quiet group leaving
• Former director looking for Head of Circ

6:00 in the children's room

• 1st grade reading level books [Encyclopedia Brown to the rescue, eventually] and...
• "Is there a Spanish story time tonight?" and where [yup, over there at 6:30] ...and...
• Bathroom key
• There really are other people in here--the usual suspects--but they seem to be taking one look at me and heading for the doors. Why, yes, I do apparently terrify 13-year-old boys playing computer games. [huh]
• Tall Kleenex boy leaves the room, cleaning his glasses as usual. It strikes me that my dad might have looked a bit like him back in the day: tall, gangly, dorky (no glasses though) and uncomfortable in his 7th-grade skin
• Confused dad and his son are back, the kid in charge again
• Bathroom key [the blue bathroom key has a note saying the floor was very wet, but the other one hasn't come back, so..."if it's really bad, come back and wait" and they don't come back]
• Pay to print
• Kids are arriving for story time
• ...and the first key comes back
• Confused question from son of confused dad, but I find him some robot books which seems to make him happy
• I overhear a mom tell her kid, "You can check out whatever you can afford to pay for if you lose 'em." I double-check to be sure my mom hasn't just walked in--that was totally her line!
• Lots of running kids....sigh
• How to get on the internet? [need dad's permission]
• Where to get a library card? [front desk]
• Bathroom key
• Broken floor puzzle pieces [well, we'll see what we can do, but that's pretty much why that puzzle is out--it's towards the end of its usable life]

Monday Monday

What I'm doing between questions: listserves, I guess...nothing much to catch up on, except those damn LCSH lists...

1:00

• Help with printing, and pay ($20 bill for a 60-cent print charge...ugh)
• Info on a community where university is located--NOT the college community...ugh, wow, this guy's a little goofy
• Pay to print x 3
• Community guy still here talking my ear off
• Update expiration date
• There's a guy here with long white hair in a neat ponytailed structure...top of which is colored dark pink with that spray-on stuff...perhaps, if you have white hair, you should WASH YOUR HAIR when you're done with the whatever-it-is for which you sprayed your hair [my guess is the local 5K run/walk which was yesterday]
• Stapler and discussion of gas prices and selling used cars

4:00 in the children's room

• Credit report printing--only has a quarter, it's 12 pages long (actually 10, once all the junk at the bottom is accounted for)...[lots of ways around this, but eventually she'll need to find money...]
• Two really old picture books, neither of which we own, but the second one is at a nearby library at least so I reserve it
• Bathroom key....and returned
• Lexile numbers, but teacher recommended Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys [this girl couldn't be less interested in this and still be awake]

Thursday

What I'm doing between questions: proofing the library's disaster plan before our discussion tomorrow at training day.

9:00 [filling in for Librarian K who ?sat on his glasses this morning]

• Fax
• [run to the back to eat my breakfast so I don't start gnawing on people's fingers out here]
• Pay to print and some political commentary to go with [yay, not]
• Schedule person comes to tell me that I'll be here longer than I/we originally thought
• Scratch paper
• How to print
• ...I just noticed a little baby who's probably been here 10 minutes at least...quiet little one
• Pencil
• "My computer shut down and I lost everything and now I can't get back online because they say I'm still logged in" [plug was barely in and she kicked it by mistake...grrr...people suck, but I renew her time and reboot that computer]

10:00 [still filling in]

• Baby and her daddy leave when she starts fussing
• Pencil returned
• Forgot PIN
• Pay to print and a little help
• Stapler
• 10:32 and K is back!!

5:00 [now filling in for Librarian J who somehow still has vacation time to burn]

• Pay to print
• Patron standing by printers, then pounces on computer when printing people leave....oh, I guess we're full up on the public computers [moderately unusual for a weekday, though not at this time of day I guess
• ...and it's actually nearly silent: no phones, no loud music, no talking, no giggling...just tippy-tapping keys and an occasional murmur from some kids down the way
• Librarian C looking for People to read while she's at dinner (someone beat her to it!)
• Yet another book about The American Dream [I place hold on the copy in the consortium and write up a request for purchase]
• [phone from J] "Who's the author of the Scaredy Squirrel books?" [uhm, well...I guess she can't figure out how to spell "scaredy" to look in the catalog? It's Mélanie Watt, by the way]
• I hear noises behind me [dude using the local prospectuses (prospecti??) littering the counter there--once he walks away I check: road improvement "Incidental Take Submittal for the State Threatened Species ...."]
• Help with printing
• [phone] Werewolf (doesn't introduce herself, but I can tell from the subject matter) needs the street address for the Salt Lake Tribune to write them about an article they published in 1996 [I suppose I could see if I could do more research on the article for her. Or not]
• Waiting list dude...wondering where the chairs went that used to be here for waiting [we moved them so Mr. Ick wouldn't sit in them all day, not that I told the patron this]
• Fax
• Help printing a document: no color option for printing...WTF?! [I print it from the desk after saving it to a flash drive and renewing her time for 10 minutes just in case]
• While I'm doing that, Impatient and Crabby Woman demands more time [I say I can't because so many computers are in use; "There are three empty ones right there! I will lose everything I've typed!" I renew her for a half an hour, and she stomps off. She'd stomp off if I handed her a Tiffany necklace though, so...]
• "Did anyone turn in a flash drive in the last few days?" [I dump the box of leftover ones on the counter for him to paw through, but he doesn't find his]
• Guest pass for internet
• Renew time [I can this time, but I have to explain the whole hour-a-day vs.up-to-3-hours-if-we-aren't-busy thing], and then he needs help figuring out how to lock his computer and some other stuff
• Librarian M walks past about 4 minutes later and I confirm that the 1 vs. 3 hour thing is still true. Yes.
• Pay to print
• I clean up flash drives and restore them to their corner of tech purgatory

Tuesday

What I'm doing between questions: well, to start the evening, I'm following up the previous persons' attempts to keep the 4 kids running (literally) and laughing and generally having recess from doing any of the above. Mean Librarian.

6:00

• 6:12 and I've separated them and sent them to their moms to deal with
• How to print which Spanish Storytime Woman deals with, as she does the other problem that arrives with the family of noisy kids
• ...whom she then takes with her into the storytime [yay, for me at least]
• Check out here? [nope]
• Help printing
• A mystery. And a book in Spanish. [whee]
• Hocus Pocus, the movie [after a great deal of fumbling, I place the hold--seems I've forgotten how to use the catalog suddenly]
• Mystery and Spanish Book Girl just found out her card's expired [books behind desk for her to check out when Mom comes back with ID later tonight]
• And the hour ends with kids running through the library again (some of the same ones, and some different ones)
• Stories about magic
• Bathroom key
• "They got their pictures taken when they got their cards? Do they NEED those pictures?" [no, I explain it's just a fun thing we do]

Monday

What I'm doing between questions:

1:00

• First act of the day: apologize to Librarian B for barking at her when she came back to the workroom a few minutes ago to 'warn' me about one of our regulars doing his usual inappropriate viewing...honestly, I don't CARE as long as no one complains, but...she does...and she doesn't deserve to be growled at
• Ethernet Guy here for 'his' cable
• [phone] Materials ordered last week; are they here yet? [nope]
• Buddha in the Attic [checked out; I place hold]
  
• [phone] World Book Encyclopedia rep; I take down info on sale price for Librarian M and send her an email in case she wants to buy
• Paper &  pencil
• Guest pass for internet [her mom says, "wow, this library is HUGE!" lol]
• Look up PIN
• Guest pass girl asks a sensible question about printing. I love sensible questions!!
• Custodial dude comes by and says hello
• Fax, and a look through the job ads folder
• Pencil &  paper
• Newbie questions the popup that just appeared on her screen--it's because I renewed her time so she didn't get thrown out in the middle of things
• [phone] The second book in the Mysterious Benedict Society series, and the audiobook [I place holds on both--our book is checked out, but the CD is here, so they'll both probably get pulled tonight from here and...wherever]
• Guest pass girl is ready to pay to print, so I walk her thru that

4:00 in the children's room

• I come about 2 cm from colliding headfirst with Librarian D as we switch desks. We both need beepers, or bells 
• The letter to Mr. Ick is posted--he's been banned from the building for 5 weeks, at least. Someone needs to put him back on his meds
• Homelanders series, book 3 [our copy is, you guessed it, checked out--I reserve a copy for him]
• Same kid asks for Mark of Athena [46 holds in the system, so I add him]
• So, there's a kid, behind the computer tables, online who keeps chuckling and giggling at whatever he's doing. It's cracking me up.
• Books on Sequoyah, Cherokee Indians, and the Southeastern U.S. Tennesse [got 'em all]
• Lost library card turned in [I block in and put it in the box with the rest]
• Spanish historical fiction book for 5th grader 
• Books on colors, and I Spy books

Saturday

What I'm doing between questions: just found a huge mess in our orders that I need to clean up. The demise of BWI cannot happen soon enough for me!

11:00

• Librarian J rattles on about Mr. Ick who has been on a tear this week (and this morning)
• "I accidentally locked my computer instead of logging out" [I deal with it
• [phone] Lady and the Tramp DVD on hold; where is it? [still in processing] and a book she saw on TV last night [I do an order for it because it's my buying section]
• I go find L&tT in the workroom and ask Librarian T to process it quick if she has time today
• [phone] I can't remember because I got distracted--Librarians T and J are blathering about Mr. Ick who has followed our cleaner in the the women's bathroom and asked him to move the chairs back to where he normally sits
• Phantom Tollbooth not here [I call libraries in two nearby towns and finally find a copy for them--girl needs it this weekend]
• Today's classifieds and pay to print
• ...and three regular homeless-sometimes guys wander past in various versions of camo
• Paper
• How to spell "Chloe"

12:00

• Librarian T shows me this resume-writing program we've just installed. Pretty neat. Glad I don't have to write a real one...or should I??
• "Reesooms" [ok, fairly understandable in context--I'll catch her on the way out and let her know we have some programming about this coming up]
• Elementary-aged kid wants a guest pass [got a parent here? No means no internet till they sign for you to use it]
• Do we have a scanner? [not yet...sigh] but then need to get on Word [I explain]
• Times Were A-Changin' [our copy is supposedly here, but the spot where it would be is empty...literally [kid needs it for school on Tuesday...someone in his class beat him to it]
• Need to get on Word [I explain and she says her card's expired, so I start the renewal explanation, and then she says she can't because she has fees....so, yeah, no computer access either then, sorry]
• Someone left after logging out of XP...why the FUCK can't people READ?!
• Fee lady is back with a friend, and her card which doesn't have a password so I'm sure I'll be over there banging on the computer because...yup, the new password didn't work. Never does
• Librarian J heads into the children's room, but since the door from Ref is closed, she backtracks and makes a complete circuit of the library to get there...rather than propping the door and driving her cart through it 

Thursday

What I'm doing between questions: checking subject headings woo-hoo


5:00 in the children's room

• Two ?brothers using computers next to each other are having one of those really stupid arguments ("No you didn't say that, you said...", "I did not." "I totally HEARD you!" "You aren't even playing the game right." "What does that have to do with..."). I'm about to go smack them both in the head [but they stopped, finally]
• 5:28 Bathroom key [well, I should probably ask if he has kids in here...but I'm so glad not to be invisible that I just let him use it]
• "My card says it's inactive" [cuz you on $8+ in fines...oh, and you have a DVD on the hold shelf; "yeah, I know, but they said I can't check it out till I pay my fine" --nice, so you knew your card wasn't going to work, ya twerp...]
• The arguing guys leave--still can't tell if they're brothers or friends
• Bathroom key is back
• [phone] Renew stuff that's due today for the whole family [total, I think they have about 80 things checked out, but they are regular good patrons so it's just nice instead of worrying]
• Bathroom key
• ...and back
• [phone] How long are we open? [9 tonight]
• New-walking kid staggers past, being chased by his big sister on her hands and knees....too cute
• Big Nate Out Loud isn't on the shelf [well, yes, it is, just not on the regular BOOK shelf--it's with the graphic novels]

Wednesday

What I'm doing between questions: fixing Battle of the Books titles so they all have matching subtitles/titles....

3:00 in the children's room

• "The keyboard isn't working" [no clue why, but I get it working again]
• Lilo & Stitch movies [the one with the red [S]titches on the back, and we find it!!]
• Help with printing [can't use the express SAM computer to print]
• Yu-Gi-Yoh graphic novels [the L&S kid]
• Discussion with Head of Circ about Battle of the Books list (see above)
• Biography project for school [the parents are freaking out about the part of the assignment that involves the kid (L&S again) creating his own book...really?]
• 3:17 wow 
• "Do you have any Spanish books?" [yeah....eventually, it turns out it's not for the girl that asked, but for her older sister...who is standing there with us, not talking ???]
• Older guy walks through and asks how I keep it so quiet in here ["a big stick" I say, laughing--if only he'd been here 10 minutes ago!]
• 3:52 yawn

Thursday

What I'm doing between questions:

9:00 in the children's room

• I'm running late, so I'm eating in the children's room -- bad example!
• Bathroom key x2
• Look up kids' card # [it's expired and has $4+ in fines, so I warn the mom and extend the time thru today, and leave a note]
• Head of Circ asks if I know if Librarian J is here ; no clue, though the light in her office is on so...probably?
• There are a TON of people here this morning--probably because there's no school, but still, weird
• Help finding a "girls game" online called Fantasyland Dress Up [snort]
• Check card for money for printing, tell him he has a DVD on hold, and he asks about the "new" Big Nate book (due out next February!), and reserve for the new Dashner book [VERY chatty, fun kid]
• Books on MLK, and a chat about why he was killed [with a six-year-old, uhm...]
• Bathroom key x2
• I'm asked to check out the dresses the Fantasyland girl has found for her avatar to wear...sigh...prom dress a-go-go ; also sea turtle movies [nope]

10:00 in the children's room

• YA Graphic Novels
• More time [for Fantasyland and her mom]
• Mom trying to put kid's shoes back on--this is a preschool (at the very least) aged kid, and the process is strangely silent as they wrestle on the floor [she eventually wins....silently]
• Can't get out of the game he's in [fixed]
• Email received from colleague: ocm50908541 I didn't realize that Star Wars characters were authors now. o.O [yes, Boba Fett has written a 20-page-page autobiography "with" a ghost-writer ..sigh
• Renew Fantasyland's card [front desk, sorry]
• Wayside School....[got it]
• "Where did my mom go?" [Fantasyland...probably to the desk to renew your card--and I log her out of SAM]
• Check out at front desk
• [phone] Reserve meeting room [being very unskilled in this area, I go ask someone else to do it and take her place at the checkout desk for 10 minutes, which is mayhem-ish]
• Good book for a 5th grader for a book report [since he's the kid who asked for the new James Dashner book before, I get Maze Runner for him to try]

11:00 in the children's room

• [phone] Event registration, which is more complicated than it needs to be because I don't really know what I'm doing
• "Did anyone turn in a wallet?" [No. Oh crap...she looks like someone ran over her dog--this is the silent shoe-wrestling-match woman]
• Help move craft-room table so custodian can mop
• Help printing an email attachment
• Lost wallet saga continues [I end up calling the cops, and the whole thing eats about 45 minutes of the morning]
• Spanish books for book reports
• "Where does the movie Rio belong?" [we have a copy in E and a copy in J, and it's wigging out our shelver]

Friday [yay!!]

What I'm doing between questions:

1:00 in the children's room

• Update SAM access
• Bathroom keys to custodian for cleaning
• Highlighter
• Keys back
• Changed her mind, doesn't know where the DVD goes on the shelves [no worries]
• Highlighter back
• Bathroom key
• Books in Spanish for dual-language student
• Weird But True [nothing here so I reserve the one in the catalog even though his card is expired...]
• Garfield books and Big Nate graphic novels [nothing here right now]
• A whole passel of kids pile into the room, including a baby and a todder in a stroller whose mom plops down to do internet stuff
• ...Weird But True guy says his mom will reserve the book on her card so I take it off his [??]
• Toddler in stroller is not happy with being ignored and trapped in his seat [and neither am I,  jeez--who WOULD be?]
• Pay to print
• Kid with large stack of books walks past; his brother (the Weird But True guy) says, "He's obsessed with reading...and the military...and politics....mostly about how bad Obama is" [okay then: props for reading and for knowing to pay attention to politics at least!]
• Magic Treehouse books
• This toddler('s idiot mother) is making me CRAZY--thank God it's time for me to go!

Wednesday (let's hope it's not a repeat of last week!)

What I'm doing between questions: taking bets about when Librarian J will call in sick [she threw her back out yesterday, but worked all day, so it's not unexpected], and the never-ending subject headings...oh, and it's a half day for the kids today, so the afternoon could be strange(r than normal)

9:00 in the children's room

• Charlie & Lola books, who is the author? [Lauren Child]
• Storytime at 9:30 and folks are already showing up
• Bathroom key [oops, I never closed the doors!]
• ...and Librarian J just called in to talk to Schedule Person whom I can overhear from this desk : 9:15 [Librarian B wins the prize!]--mad rearranging of schedule ensues [I loathe this woman right now]
• [phone] Rose needs to renew the posters she checked out (what, no DVDs??] and wants to talk to Librarian C, who is just arriving...
• [phone] VERY SICK woman calls to find out due dates for books [I renew them--she sounds absolutely terrible!]
• My choir director is here for storytime, so I warn her that I may not be there, again, tonight

1:00 12:45

• In the interim, things have worked out so that I can leave when I'm supposed to instead of staying till 9 again
• Markers [no, but I have one green Sharpie--he is way too excited about that]
• Someone left their phone at the computer someone else just sat down at
• And someone else's phone starts beeping [dude doesn't really know how to use it, but it eventually stops bing-bonging--hmm, I think this is a homeless dude, to boot]
• Marker is back
• "This is like the second time I've used a stapler in the past 6 years!!" [again with the weird excitement--different person though]
• "Come to the library to watch porn?" [uhm, really? I start over...oh, not ACTUAL porn...ok] then a long story about a woman's family history which starts out, I presume, as a question and eventually I realize she's just talking [more excitement that I'm not feeling]
• Pay to print x 2
• Guest pass
• Group of four teenage boys I'm watching, but they're quiet and (I think) behaving, just watching YouTube music vids
• Buy flash drive + pay to print
• Pay to print and some help
• Pay to print
• Stapler
• Guest pass, and help him and his friend get online; they will need a load of help 
• Pencil [no, you can't have my good one to use, sorry!]
• Fax
• Look up password
• There are now 6 guys, and a skankily-dressed girl (one of our regulars) hanging out in that group, on two computers -- and they know I'm watching, so two leave the building lol
• [I can't ... stop ... yyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaawninggggggg]
• "50 cents to print?!" [only color--I show her how to change the printer to b&w]
• Now down two more teenagers; only one guy and the girl are left, talking
• Fax
• Still won't print in b&w..."oooh, I have to change it before I print, I get it!"
• Dude, if you're ANYwhere close to my age, you should NOT be using "Call Me Maybe" as your ring tone! And you should also NOT be talking on the phone at the library! Srsly....grrr
• Stapler
• Dear God, one of the needy pair just applied for a job in "loss prevention" at Wal-Mart...help!

2:00

• And the loss prevention guy is "that guy" who is The Best Lipreader in the World [you know, that [his name]] and worked for TSA until he got tired of them not paying him...something about Hillary and Obama shoving cash in their pockets till the Chinese caught them...[go, GO!! Leave with your friend now please!!]
• Bing-bong phone guy needs the local paper and this week's People Magazine [turns out he's already seen the latter--he likes looking at the pictures, which is an unfortunate statement since this week's cover story is all about Kate Middleton's pictures]
• Two books in Spanish, one we have one we don't
• Rude dude thinks his printing is more important than the girl with the books [he even interrupts AGAIN to thank me]
• Circ person comes back to ask if I know who was on computer #24 [yeah, it was the Call Me Maybe guy who left after he hung up] ; apparently someone just complained about what he was looking at; I have no idea what his name is {grr}
• ADHD books
• Pay to print
• Today's classifieds [actually, she needs the TV listings, which she uses right here]
• Skanky girl and guy she left with are back

3:00 in the children's room

• Help with printing in color
• Books on rock music
• Two requests for purchase in my collection development areas are going straight to OCLC--I'm not buying these esoteric items anymore for this woman every time she asks [both are coming from "Bible Colleges"]; a third request goes in the "ILL when available" pile [ditto this patron who only asks for fringe psycho-Christian books]
• "Can I borrow the stapler?" [it's for a poster, so...yeah]
• Local paper is back, at last
• [phone] Two Kellerman and three Gerritsen books [all on the shelf and  now on hold for her]
• "There's no one on this computer but there's a purse and a bunch of stuff on the table...?" [I grab it and put it behind the desk. Still have the phone, too]
• Stapler is back
• New Yorker article and a request for a book
• Ethernet Guy is here for "his" cable
• Purse-owner finally returns (easily 25 minutes later)
• Pen
• Other Ethernet Guy returns a cable
• Stapler
• Algebra for Dummies books (for a 5th grader who "likes doing algebra problems) [dear God!]
• Local classifieds, and he stays to look through the job ads folder
• Classifieds are back
• Help finding the date an article ran in the paper so he can go find the paper and make a copy
• Compatibility View switch from Firefox; bank website doesn't mean porn stupid security popup

Tuesday

What I'm doing between questions:

6:00 in the kids' room

• Bathroom key!! [desperate]
• Dork diaries #4
• Bathroom key back and immediately gone again
• Other bathroom key is MIA...and needed
• Johnny Appleseed books
• How much to print in color
• Bathroom key is returned, but I don't know where the people who were waiting went...?
• It's now 6:09
• After knocking, I 'break in' to the bathroom with the master key--yep, our key was left in there by the last person
• Battle of the Books list: any mysteries? [no, I don't think so...I also can't believe that the oldest girl in this family is nearly 10--I remember making library cards for the parents when they moved here, pre-kids]
• Computer froze [poor kid: he's Hispanic, and he's named after his dad...whose first name is Joan (zhowe-on) which means years of teasing from classmates]
• And then it reserved the computer for him somehow...ok, weirdness everywhere
• Storytime begins
• Staff member needs Bilingual Book sticker [we eventually find the right drawer in the children's librarian's desk...]
• There's been a mom/tutor here since I arrived in here reading a book out loud to a young teenaged boy while he answers questions
• Bathroom key...and back
• Bathroom key (and some help unlocking the door)...and back
• Flash cards for addition [well, it takes awhile to figure out where they are....but we do find them]

Monday

What I'm doing between questions: end-of-month stuff, and collection development journals.

1:00

• Librarian B asks me to call back a consortium library looking for a CD that doesn't appear to be on the shelf [bummer]
• Pay to print
• Consumer Reports car issue
• Need to type a letter, and will need help with printing later
• Pay to print (and some help)
• Pay to print (new-to-me Pet Mormon)
• Fax
• Can print fees be put on a credit card? [yes, but it's my current favorite Pet Mormon and I plead with her to go up front to have them run the card or we'll be here until closing while I figure out how to use the damn thing]
• CR is returned
• Print--but it doesn't print in color (hmmm) [I refund her money]
• Help with printing
• Fax 

5:00 in the children's room

• Help with computer [it's borked, and as I wait for it to reboot I discover two others have been turned off at the power strip, so I restart them too]
• Bathroom key...
• Easy books to read to my baby
• Key is back
• Help with printing (in Spanish)
• Monster Science books, and chapter books [for 3 kids, and I find 'em all something to take home, cuz I rock]
• How to replace a lost card [it costs $2...so...yeah]
• "What's my password?" [CAT, really? lol]
• "The computer isn't correcting my errors" [aside from the idea of wanting/expecting it to actually do that, I can't figure out how to turn the goofy underline thing on]
• Books on [our state] [uh, yeah, we have a few...lol]
• I Spy books
• DC Comics character encyclopedia [checked out--"OH MAN!"--but I can reserve it for her (not a him)]
• I Spy books
• A mom on her way out stops to say, essentially, "My kids didn't make that mess in the play area, it was the (white) boy who just left who was throwing stuff..." [grr, I go clean up]
• I Spy books [different family]
• The obnoxious fauxhawk boy comes up to me to donate his "book" (6 pieces of paper stapled together with drawings) to the collection; "it's about Scooby-Doo" [I tell him I'll have to ask the de facto children's librarian but what a nice thing and maybe he can come back and read it to the little kids himself--too CUTE! He's very serious about it]
• Both bathroom keys
• Neither Meet the Robinsons nor Free Willy are on the shelves where they belong [then again, the DVDs never stay in order]
• Keys are back
• Help, major help, with printing